I know the value of forgiving, though it hasn’t always been easy to forgive, especially when the trespasses go on and on, even for years. But I have found my way to forgiving and have felt the ultimate liberation that comes with it. I continue to struggle at times depending on who did what and how, but in the end an injury is an injury no matter who or how.
The other night I accidently pushed the up button on my car’s passenger side window while a loved one had her hand out that window. Her wrist was pinned by the glass, she screamed out in agony. Panic stricken I pushed the down button, and she pulled her hand out and held it to her heart, crying profusely.
I couldn’t believe I had done that! Even by accident. A total blip in brain function. What an idiot! I said to myself and blamed myself completely. The pain got worse, subsided, hit the nerves. I went to bed terrified. At 4:20 a.m. I awoke, still terrified. I prayed for hours.
The day after the event, my friend’s hand was sore, no bruising, no nerve pain, fingers moving and functioning. THANK YOU, GOD!!! When I worked up the courage to ask my friend if she could ever forgive me, she simply looked at me and said that she had never blamed me, that it was clearly an accident and not to beat myself up over it, please.
To be forgiven would have been an enormous gift. To be not even blamed was, in my life, almost unimaginable. Thank you, dear one.
Now, can I ever forgive myself?
Peace, Love, Hope,
Susan
